Thursday, August 8, 2013

Latest Parenting Trend

OH my…I found this article via the Huffington Post and bookmarked it immediately.  I knew I wanted to share it with Derek….it is just too funny not to share!

Latest Parenting Trend: The CTFD Method   
David Vienna

I know many people want to stay current with the latest parenting trends -- attachment parenting, minimalist parenting, Tiger Mother parenting, et al. Well, I've stumbled upon a new technique that will guarantee your child grows up to be an exemplary student and citizen. It's called CTFD, which stands for "Calm The F*ck Down." And that's not a message to give your kids. It's for you.

Using CTFD assures you that -- whichever way you choose to parent -- your child will be fine (as long as you don't abuse them, of course). To see it in action, here are some sample parenting scenarios and how CTFD can be employed:
  • Worried your friend's child has mastered the alphabet quicker than your child? Calm the f*ck down.
  • Scared you're not imparting the wisdom your child will need to survive in school and beyond? Calm the f*ck down.
  • Concerned that you're not the type of parent you thought you'd be? Calm the f*ck down.
  • Upset that your child doesn't show interest in certain areas of learning? Calm the f*ck down.
  • Stressed that your child exhibits behavior in public you find embarrassing? Calm the f*ck down.
Yes, using the CTFD method, you'll find the pressure lifted and realize your child loves you no matter what, even if they've yet to master the alphabet. You'll also learn that whether or not you're the best parent in the world, as long as you love your child, they'll think you are and that's what matters. Plus, CTFD makes you immune to those that prey upon the fears of new parents, like pseudoscientists and parenting authors.

To use CTFD, just follow these simple steps:
  1. Calm the f*ck down.
  2. There is no second step.
So, ignore all those other parenting trends and stick to CTFD. You'll be glad you did and so will your kid.
This post originally appeared -- without the asterisks -- on

So, in all seriousness, I think this parenting “method” is so perfect for me!  I’m the type to obsess over everything…then have some anxiety about it.  This pregnancy has been a total mind game, and I can’t even imagine what being a first time new mother will be like.  I’m expecting my brain to go into overdrive and stay there forever.  I’m counting on second guessing everything and being totally unsure of the decisions I’m making.  Thank goodness for Derek because he calms me down in about every situation.  I’m hoping that I can take myself out of any situations that I’m going a little crazy in, and just calm down!  Sounds easy enough, right?

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Allison said...

This is hilarious. The last bullet point is my favorite, but I'm sure YOUR child will never do anything in public to embarrass you. Haha.

According to Jax said...

Hahaha....LOVE THIS! There is also a book called "Go the F*ck to sleep" that is a "bedtime" book for parents/kids for kids who won't sleep through the night. Its so funny!!

Courtney said...

That is so funny! I always worry about what kind of parent I'm going to be because I can be really anxious sometimes but I hope I am able to have this kind of attitude when I finally become a mom someday.

Jordon said...

Lord have mercy I am dying at my desk reading this! Seriously, some people need a reality check with this!! Too funny

Leah said...

Love this! I was the same way through pregnancy but have surprisingly been a pretty chill mom. I worry but no where near as much as I thought I would. It's funny, I'm more laid back than Derek, never thought that would have been the case!

Megan O. said...

Lol a friend who is expecting found an article similar to this, not sure if it's the same one, but I found it hilarious! It's so true that anymore it seems like parents get so uppity if their kids seem to be "slower" anyone else's and they coddle like crazy which isn't good either. Plus I've read articles saying that the push of parents is part of the reason there are more learning disabilities in the end because we're pushing their brains to quick to fast so they don't get the right development and critical stages. Makes sense to me. This is pretty funny though and I will be applying the CTFD method for sure!

Jessica M said...

This is amazing! Totally my kind of parenting method! It is WAY (way!) too easy to freak out about every little thing!! I've definitely had to tell myself to CTFD a few times...a day! lol

Jane {In the Pink and Green} said...

This is too funny! I love it :)

Jamie @ You Gotta Have Hart said...

This is epic!

Audra said...

This method will DEFINITELY come in handy for you - I wish I had known about this when we had our first daughter. It would have saved alot of time and inevitable wrinkles from worry!

dave and jenn said...

CTFD gets easier in time, but I would be amazed if any first-time parent can master it right off the bat. :) ha!

Emily Beth said...

This is great! I'm not a parent, but the parents I look up to most are the ones that stay cool, calm & collected, and know when to step in and when to let it be.

Helene in Between said...

haha omg yes, love this!!!

Kristen said...

Lol yes!!!!

Emily said...

Katie - this is so funny and perfect, I love it!! I can't wait to meet this little girlie so soon!!!!!

Miss Monica said...

I couldn't stop laughing. I will definitely share with the parents are work.

Pegster said...

I just died laughing when I read this. I totally use this method daily :).

I am from Africa and did not have any of the niceties that people want for their kids nowadays. My response to any "well you need blah or blah" is well "they don't have that in Africa"

You should see people's faces when I say that. I have gotten the well this isn't Africa response a lot but I don't care.

I am totally going to use CTFD now, it's a little bit more polished and more Americanized :)

Faith said...

Haha love this! I'll def have to be a CTFD parent! Oh boy :)

Ashley R said...