Saturday, June 4, 2011

Cussing at Work

I received another inappropriate funny email that I wanted to share on this fabulous Saturday!  We are all home (Hubs, Brutsie, and I), laundry is done, and grocery shopping is done.  Life is good!  Now just on to packing up this apartment...  Anyway!  Hope you have a great weekend!

Cussing at Work 

Dear Employees:  

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.  Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.  We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.  Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner. 

Number 1 
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.. 
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2 

TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. 
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3 

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. 
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4 

TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. 
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5 

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6 

TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... 
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7 

TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. 
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8 

TRY SAYING: That's interesting. 
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9 

TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. 
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10 

TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. 
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11 

TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues... 
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12 

TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13 

TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? 
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14 

TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. 
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15 

TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. 
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

Number 16 

TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. 
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17 

TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? 
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18 

TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive. 
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

Thank You, 
Human Resources


Ashley Borysewich said...

haha love this! following you too now!

Mrs EyeCanSee said...

Bwhahaha! This is great! Though I will say I kinda skimmed your intro to it and for a minute acutally thought this was an email you got. Haha. Oops!

Mrs. Mama said...

hahaaaaaa this is great

Just a Country Girl said...

Haha hilarious! Thanks for the blog love today! You are a doll!

Leah said...

Love this! Thanks for the laugh!

Miss Monica said...

Thats was awesome! I will have to use that for code for really what I am trying to say. lol

Megan said...

Hahaha! This is too funny! Definitely makes some things more polite!

Faith said...

hahaha, too funny!

Raven said...

hahahaha I love this! I have seen this before and it's hilarious!

dave and jenn said...

Haha, those are awesome. :) I'm pretty sure I've been saying some of the more direct versions of each of these while I've been pregnant (though not at work). :)

Good luck packing!!